Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
