I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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