is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
