She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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