Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
