Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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