If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
