my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
do herpes really smell.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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