Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
youre lurking in front of me
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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