So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
