I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My nipple is on Facebook.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize