i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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