This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
