I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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