Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
