When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
