Soap is not a condiment
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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