I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
