Define "chronic" masturbator.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
