My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
