Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
