Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just found puke in my bra..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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