I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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