After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How naked do you want me to be?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize