just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
