I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
