Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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