I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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