its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
