Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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