I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
