Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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