hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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