party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
