what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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