Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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