I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
