Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
