I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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