I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How does one acquire holy water?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
