I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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