You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
