he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
