I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Randomize
