I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
