Even the bartender felt bad for me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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