If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am puke
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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