At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
