wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
