remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
