I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
