I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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