ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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