One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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