we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
