a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
