I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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