Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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