just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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