when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
