Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
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