Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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