we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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