I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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