Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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